I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
