So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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