She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize