I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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