Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
