Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
