Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
