you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I touched a dick in church today
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
