I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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