Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
