Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
