he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
