just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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