all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
