I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
two words...techno handjob
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize