So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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