Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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