party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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