his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
