I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
