Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Enjoy the penises
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
