I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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