he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Randomize
