Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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