awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
