So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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