i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
