Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
