The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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