its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
