Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I feel great
I just peed on a car
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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