I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
