I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
