i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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