my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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