I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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