Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
i out mim tonsoeep
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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