You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
