So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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