And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
BRING THE BAGELS
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize