who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Too much gin, very little bucket
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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