i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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