porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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