you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
