Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
