No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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