as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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