I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
