sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
