i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
