arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize