Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
whose parrot is this?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
