I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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