Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
