We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
