What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
