I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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