So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The uberlube is also flammable
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize