He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
