i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Randomize
